


How to Write Your Own Future

by ardentaislinn



Category: Terminator (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28202952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardentaislinn/pseuds/ardentaislinn
Summary: Now that Kyle had survived, did that mean Sarah would no longer have to become the heroic figure of Kyle’s legend?
Relationships: Sarah Connor/Kyle Reese
Comments: 11
Kudos: 49
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	How to Write Your Own Future

**Author's Note:**

  * For [misantlery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/misantlery/gifts).



Sarah doesn’t like to think about the fact that there’s a timeline in which Kyle doesn’t survive. Maybe more than one. And she doesn’t like to think of all the things she had to do to make sure he survived in this one - things Kyle doesn’t know about. Time travel was a complicated business, and it still hurt her brain to think about it more often than not.

Instead, she thinks about the present. About Kyle, and the child she was now certain was growing inside her. She placed her hand protectively over her stomach and glanced over to Kyle’s dusty trousers sticking out from beneath the Jeep. The clunk of metal and the occasional swear word were all she’d heard from him for the last thirty minutes. Her heart swelled with a fondness she hadn’t ever believed was possible.

Looking back, she’d loved him even that first night they’d been together, when their child was most likely conceived. But that love was nothing compared to the slow, consuming wave that built higher within her each day. Would it one day crash and disappear into nothingness, like a wave on a shore? She didn’t have enough experience with love to know. But she did know that both she and Kyle had endured the worst horrors for each other and somehow survived, so that was enough for now.

Her gaze shifted to the flat, empty space that disappeared into the horizon. It surrounded them on all sides, making her feel like she was on some uninhabited planet. But no, she was just in a desert, travelling to nowhere in particular. Heat waves shimmered, and the hot sun was merciless on her pale skin as it beat down from above. They’d only been travelling for a few weeks, but she’d already managed a tan.

She sighed. Maybe their plan to keep moving hadn’t been the best one. Then again, they hadn’t known Sarah was pregnant when they’d made it. Kyle could change his mind once she told him of the child growing in her.

Or maybe not. Maybe pregnant women were warriors in his time? It was impossible to say. Every time she thought she had the future figured out, Kyle would tell her something completely unexpected and she’d be baffled all over again.

Sarah might not feel ready to be a warrior, but she didn’t want to be useless, either. The memories he’d shared of the women in his time were inspiring and terrifying. They were more impressive than she could ever imagine being. And  _ Sarah _ was meant to be the saviour of all humankind? Who taught her son everything he knew to beat back the machines? It was laughable.

She wiped the sweat off her forehead with her sleeve and shook off the tendrils of insecurity she always felt when she thought about her supposed destiny. Her feet carried her to the Jeep.

“I nearly have it,” Kyle claimed, his voice muffled.

Sarah held back a sound of disbelief. He’d said that three times already. She was already regretting the purchase of the cheap Jeep. The deal was, of course, too good to be true. But neither she nor Kyle had known that, since neither of them had ever bought a car before.

Well, they’d know for next time. Kyle, at least, had some skill at fixing things - or at least getting them to hold together just long enough for whatever task you needed them for. But being stranded in the baking desert for the length of time it took him to patch things up was not her idea of fun.

Rather than respond to his remark, she lay on the hot dirt and scooted herself under the car next to him.

Kyle blink at her in surprise, his face smeared with dust and sweat and oil. Her heart lurched, and suddenly it wasn’t the sun making her warm.

“I said I was nearly done,” he reminded her, but he didn’t seem annoyed.

“Do you need help?” she asked, feeling strangely hesitant.

Kyle paused for a moment, considering her. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” she said with more firmness. “I  _ need  _ to,” she clarified. “I’m meant to teach John all these useful skills to survive in the world, right? How can I if I don’t know them myself?”

Kyle thought about that, then nodded. “Then grab that wrench and scoot closer.”

He began explaining what the problem with the Jeep was and what needed to be done to it, and Sarah listened with half an ear. She was too busy thinking about what it might mean that Kyle had survived to be here with her, now.

Sarah had thought about it long and hard over the last few weeks, and she was now certain that in Kyle’s original timeline, he hadn’t lived past that night they battled the Terminator in Cyberdyne. And more than that, she was sure that Kyle was John’s father. It was the only thing that made sense. So now that Kyle had survived, did that mean Sarah would no longer have to become the heroic figure of Kyle’s legend? Could she just let Kyle teach John - their child - everything he needed to know?

Could she forgive herself for not living up to her own potential like that, no matter how out of reach it seemed now?

The thing was, Sarah had changed the future by helping Kyle survive. And she didn’t know what else that changed. Maybe the time machine from Kyle’s future was still active, rather than destroyed, meaning another Terminator could be after them at any moment. Or maybe Kyle could get in trouble with the government here. With no proof of identity, he was a suspicious character in the eyes of the law, and it was impossible for him to get steady employment.

No, staying on the run was the best thing. The safest thing. But beyond that Sarah didn’t know.

“What are you thinking about?” Kyle’s voice broke into her thoughts.

Sarah turned to him. For a brief moment, she considered telling him everything. But she wasn’t ready for that, not just yet.

“Do you usually take this long to fix things?” she asked with a smile. “I can’t imagine the Terminators being patient enough to wait for you like this in the middle of battle.”

Rather than be offended, Kyle laughed. It was still such a rare sound that it made her heart kick. “I admit, it’s nice being able to take my time, and do a better job than I would have if our lives were in imminent danger. I need to keep reminding myself that things aren’t as urgent here. That while we still need to be alert, it’s not the same level of alert. Does that make sense?”

Sarah nodded slowly, and without thinking she reached up to stroke his hair. His eyes fluttered shut, as they often did when she acted with tenderness towards him. Had he ever known tenderness before her? Or had his life only been panic and fear?

“We still have to think about it all, don’t we?” Sarah heard the sadness in her voice. Sadness for Kyle, that he might never know true peace. Sadness for her, that her life had changed so drastically, so quickly, and there was more yet to come. And sadness for their unborn child - for John - whose fate had already been mapped out for him. Still, she continued, “We can’t just...live? Hope it won’t ever happen?”

Kyle’s eyes opened, and they were filled with understanding. Sarah kept expecting him to judge her for not being the Sarah of legend he’d heard so much about. Instead, he seemed to accept her for who she was now, not wish she was already the woman she was, apparently, destined to become.

“If we want that, if we want peace, we have to stop Judgement Day. There’s no other way.”

“You’re sure it’ll still happen?” she asked cautiously. “We didn’t stop it already?”

“I’m sure,” Kyle replied, with not even a hint of doubt.

Sarah’s heart sank. She knew he was right. But it still sucked. “It’s hard. Knowing what’s coming.”

“Would you rather not know?” Again, no judgement in his voice. Simply curiosity.

“Sometimes,” Sarah admitted. “Blissful ignorance sounds nice some days. But if there’s even a chance we could stop what’s coming…”

Kyle nodded. “I know.”

“But first, we need to fix this Jeep before we run out of water and the saviour of humanity and his mother die.” She laughed, feeling the knot in her chest loosen just a little knowing she wasn’t alone, and she was understood.

But then she caught sight of Kyle’s face. The confusion and panic etched on his features. What had she said? She thought back over her words and frozen as she realised what had slipped out.

“Oh,” she murmured.

“Sarah,” Kyle croaked out. The possibilities were coming to him now. “What…”

“Surprise!” she said, rather half-heartedly even as she couldn’t keep the smile from her face. She was  _ pregnant _ . With Kyle’s baby. And the thought brought her only joy. “I...um...I think I’m pregnant. And since there was never any lore about John having an older sibling, I think we know what to call him.”

“Who…?” he managed. “Father?” His voice was so tight he could barely get the words out.

Sarah’s heart tripped at the expression of dawning hope on his face. It’s true that it had only been weeks since she and Kyle had first been together. He couldn’t know that he was the only possible candidate.

So there, on the dusty desert ground, covered in sweat and dirt and with rocks digging into her back, Sarah Connor delivered the happiest news of her life.

“You’re John’s father, Kyle. You’re going to be a dad.”


End file.
